"Most men do not lose women because they are not strong enough. They lose women because they are not safe enough."
Dr. Roscoe Shields, Jr. brings 20+ years of pastoral ministry, marriage reconciliation, and organizational leadership to a keynote your attendees will still be using at home that night — how to hear the hurt beneath the complaint, govern a response under pressure, and begin a real repair, with exact words.
The Safe Man FrameworkCreator — 5 phases, 10 chapters, one clear standard
The Safe Man GuideAuthor — free guide & full assessment for your attendees
The Signature Keynote
Think Like Her, Lead Like Him
The HER/HIM Method, taught live: hear the hurt beneath the complaint, govern your response, and lead the repair — with exact words men can use the same night. Built for the room, not just the stage: a one-word diagnostic your audience answers out loud, a translation worked live on a real complaint, and a close that lands on one standard, one action, and one next step.
Hear the hurt beneath the complaintTranslate what she said into what she experienced — then verify it instead of defending against it.
Govern his response under pressureBreak the Defensive Loop — pain, threat, defense, erasure, distance — before it runs the conversation.
Begin a repair, with exact wordsAcknowledge impact, validate pain, take full ownership, and lay out the path forward — starting the same night.
"Before I respond, let me make sure I understand what this has been like for you… Did I get that right? Tell me what I am missing."
The Safe Man Standard Framework
One method. Two movements. A standard a man can practice.
Every talk Dr. Shields gives runs on the same architecture, so your event reinforces one memorable framework instead of a scatter of tips. HER and HIM are always taught together — understanding first, leadership second.
Think Like
HER
Hear the HurtListen for the pain underneath the complaint before answering the complaint itself.
Empathize Before ExplainingUnderstanding first. An explanation offered before empathy lands as erasure.
Read the PatternSee the repeated cycle, not just the latest incident — and verify the read out loud.
Lead Like
HIM
Hold Yourself AccountableOwn impact without shame spirals or excuses. Changed behavior is the proof.
Initiate RepairDon't wait to be chased. A safe man starts the repair — and finishes it.
Maintain Masculine MaturityGrounded and present under pressure — an anchor, not a storm and not a sail.
The Safe Man Standard
"A safe man protects her heart without abandoning truth, strength, boundaries, or accountability."
Pathway One
PREPARE
Become ready for healthy love.
Pathway Two
BUILD
Strengthen connection and trust.
Pathway Three
REBUILD
Face the pattern. Rebuild the man.
Keynotes & Talks
Three signature topics, written for the attendee's Monday morning
Each topic can anchor a keynote, open a retreat, or carry a breakout. Tell us your audience and theme in the inquiry form — Dr. Shields will confirm the best fit on your planning call.
TOPIC 01
Becoming the Man Love Can Trust
The flagship address on governed strength. A man can pay every bill and still leave her emotionally unprotected — this talk names the climate a man creates, and the standard that changes it: strength that can be trusted.
Attendees walk away withThe Safe Man Standard, the Shift Question — from "What did I do wrong?" to "How did that feel to her?" — and a first move for tonight.
Best for: Men's conferences · Retreats
TOPIC 02
The Provider-Protector Gap
Provision protects a household from outside pressure — but the emotional climate inside it is what she actually lives in. This talk closes the gap between providing for her and protecting her heart.
Attendees walk away withA way to diagnose the climate, not just the incident, and the Empathy Protocol: stay with her, anchor — don't sail.
Best for: Marriage events · Churches
TOPIC 03
The Anchor vs. Storm Dynamic
Under pressure, a man becomes one of three things: the storm that escalates, the sail that's pulled by every gust, or the anchor that stays grounded and present. This talk teaches the third.
Attendees walk away withThe Defensive Loop mapped, his own first reflex named — explain, fix, silence, or blame — and the exact words that stop the loop.
Best for: Leadership events · Universities
Also Available — Breakouts & Sessions
The Anatomy of Defensiveness
Why explaining feels like erasing — and the one question that stops the loop.
Men's Events · Churches
The Architecture of a Holy Apology
The 4-Step Pastoral Repair: repair that rebuilds trust instead of just ending the argument.
Marriage & Couples Events
Leading Like Him
Grounded self-leadership under pressure — the Anchor vs. Sail standard for men who lead.
Leaders & Professionals
Formats & Rooms
Built to fit your run of show
Three lengths, one framework. The 20-minute version carries the cold open, the Mirror, the HER/HIM Method, and the close. The 90-minute workshop adds paired practice, so men rehearse the words before they need them.
45 MIN
Keynote
The full signature talk — all seven movements, from the cold open to the LEAD Finish. Best as a main-session anchor.
20 MIN
Featured Talk
The concentrated version for multi-speaker lineups, services, and luncheons. The promise, the method, the exact words, the standard.
90 MIN
Workshop
The keynote plus guided, paired practice after the Method and the Repair — men leave having already said the words once.
One talk, two framings. For church and faith-based rooms, the keynote includes the Theology of Emotional Space — the Four Tests of Christlike Authority: Sacrifice, Safety, Service, Repentance. For universities and secular leadership rooms, the same four tests are taught as the tests of trustworthy leadership. Same standard, language your room can receive.
Dr. Roscoe Shields, Jr. — Los Angeles, CA. Headshot available for your program in Planner Resources below.
Meet Dr. Shields
A pastor's heart. A strategist's framework.
Dr. Roscoe Shields, Jr. is a pastor, author, organizational leadership strategist, and masculine maturity educator. For more than twenty years he has guided men, couples, families, churches, and leaders through conflict, trust, and repair — and he created Think Like Her, Lead Like Him to help men become the kind of man love can trust.
His teaching is honest about where it comes from. As he tells every room: "I did not create the Safe Man Guide because I mastered relationships. I created it because I had to confront where I failed in them." That candor — accountability without shame — is why the room leans in: men leave exposed, but with a path.
He is the creator of the Safe Man Standard Framework and author of The Safe Man Guide, a 29-page guide built on 10 diagnostic questions, with Prepare, Build, and Rebuild pathways your attendees can continue after the event.
20+ YearsPastoral ministry & marriage reconciliation
PhDBusiness Administration — Northcentral University
Los Angeles, CABased in Southern California, booking nationally
Program-Ready Introduction
Please welcome Dr. Roscoe Shields, Jr. — pastor, author, and organizational leadership strategist with more than twenty years guiding men, couples, and leaders through conflict, trust, and repair. Creator of the Safe Man Standard Framework, he teaches men to think like her and lead like him — because emotional safety is masculine maturity. Welcome, Dr. Shields.
Planner Resources
Everything your committee needs, in one place
Download the one-sheet for your selection meeting, pull the headshot and introduction for your program, and send attendees home with the free guide.
Two minutes in the form below: your date, city, audience, and the outcome you want for the room. No date yet? Ask anyway — a season or a range is enough to start.
Planning call
A short call to confirm fit: which topic and format serve your audience, faith-forward or leadership framing, and the logistics — fees, travel, book table, and AV.
Date confirmed
Your date is held, the details are put in writing, and you get the promo kit — one-sheet, headshot, and introduction — for your program and event page.
Planner FAQ
Questions every committee asks
What are Dr. Shields' speaking fees?+
Fees depend on the format, event length, and travel, and are confirmed on your planning call before anything is put in writing — no surprises for your budget committee. Send the inquiry with your date and format, and you'll get a straight answer.
Does he travel?+
Yes. Dr. Shields is based in Los Angeles, California and books events nationwide. Travel and lodging are arranged as part of the booking agreement.
Can the talk be tailored to our audience or theme?+
Yes — within the framework. On the planning call you'll choose the topic, the length, and the framing (faith-forward for church rooms, leadership framing for secular rooms). The HER/HIM Method stays intact; the examples and emphasis are fitted to your men.
What does he need from our AV team?+
A wireless lavalier or handheld microphone and a confident room. Slides are optional — the talk is built around stories, a four-card Subtext Matrix, and audience moments, not a deck. Any specific needs for your venue are confirmed on the planning call.
Can attendees get his book and guide at the event?+
Yes. A book table is part of the standard conference setup, and every attendee can get the free Safe Man Guide — 10 diagnostic questions with the Prepare / Build / Rebuild pathways — so the teaching continues after the session ends.
What if our date isn't set yet?+
Send the inquiry anyway with the season or date range you're considering. Fit and availability can be confirmed now; the exact date can be locked on the planning call.
Booking Inquiry
Let's put your date on the calendar
Tell us about your event and the outcome you want for your audience.
First — You send the inquiry below.
Next — You receive the one-sheet, keynote topics, and audience outcomes for your committee.
Then — A short planning call confirms topic, format, fees, and travel — and your date is held.
